Narrative coaching focuses on the stories individuals tell themselves and how these stories influence their lives (Drake, 2018). From a young age, people construct these narratives based on their experiences, family teachings, cultural norms, and personal observations. These early narratives evolve into deeply held beliefs, providing stability and a sense of identity. However, they can also become significant barriers to seeing new perspectives, limiting personal growth and contributing to societal stagnation.
The Formation of Early Narratives
Narrative coaching emphasizes that the stories we form early in life are critical in shaping our worldview. They are shaped by:
Family Influences: Parents and close family members are primary sources of early narratives, teaching values, beliefs, and behaviours.
Cultural Norms: Cultural background provides a framework for understanding the world, influencing how we perceive and interpret our experiences.
Personal Experiences: Individual experiences, especially significant events, contribute to the formation of personal stories that guide future behaviour and beliefs
The Power of Belief Systems
Once established, these narratives become powerful belief systems that resist change. Narrative coaching identifies several psychological mechanisms that reinforce these beliefs:
Confirmation Bias: The tendency to seek out information that confirms existing beliefs while ignoring contradictory evidence. This bias strengthens old narratives and makes new perspectives difficult to accept.
Cognitive Dissonance: The discomfort experienced when new information conflicts with existing beliefs. To reduce this discomfort, individuals often reject the new information rather than adjusting their beliefs.
Identity: Beliefs are often tied to identity, making changes feel threatening to one's sense of self and belonging. This fear of social alienation reinforces existing narratives.
Why Letting Go is a Struggle
Letting go of old narratives is difficult due to the sense of self, comfort and stability they provide. Confronting these narratives involves facing uncertainty and ambiguity almost risking not recognising yourself. A period of fear, unsettle, some even describe as a "dark night of the soul" may be triggered. Additionally, societal and cultural pressures often reinforce existing beliefs, making it difficult for individuals to break free (Drake, 2018). It makes sense that for people that move countries, surround themselves of new cultural norms and is isolated from their culture it is easier and natural to transform and evolve.
Strategies to Embrace New Perspectives
Narrative coaching offers several strategies to help you let go of old narratives and embrace new perspectives:
Self-Reflection and Mindfulness: Practicing self-reflection and mindfulness helps individuals become aware of their cognitive biases and emotional reactions. Mindfulness enables a process of self-awareness, a look into thoughts and feelings in a compassionate, non judgemental manner, facilitating the questioning of persistent beliefs.
Exposure to Diverse Perspectives: Actively seeking out and engaging with diverse perspectives challenges existing narratives and broadens understanding. This can be achieved through reading, conversations, travel, and participation in diverse communities and purposeful group practice.
Critical Thinking: Developing critical thinking skills enables individuals to analyse and evaluate information objectively. Learning and practicing inquiry, for example the Socratic method or powerful questions, encourages an exploration that helps break down rigid belief systems.
Therapy and Counselling: therapy provides a safe space for individuals to explore and confront their beliefs.
Openness to Learning / Growth Mindset: reframing the meaning of learning and embracing the possibility of change is crucial. This involves recognizing that growth and learning often require letting go of previously held, no longer serving beliefs.
Conclusion
It is critical for transformation to recognise and challenge the stories we tell ourselves. The struggle to see new perspectives is deeply related to the way that humans form beliefs and develop early stories that shape their identity and sense of being. These narratives become outdated and if left unrevised, they can get in the way of growth and understanding. By acknowledging the psychological mechanisms at play and actively working to challenge and reframe our narratives, individuals can shift their beliefs, triggering personal transformation, enhance mental well-being, and contribute their communities more openly.
References
Drake, D. (2018). Narrative coaching: The definitive guide to bringing new stories to life. CNC Press
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